Funniest TPTF Quotes

The Jolt Master: Well...we're certainly an incestuous little group, aren't we?

Moya (my beloved ex-mother, now great-granddaughter), I'm not sure I can be quoted as the Lead Wacko anymore. Pikachu has definitely taken a few steps (heck, bounding leaps) down a path *I'm* not crazy enough to follow. ::chuckles::

And son ( ::claps Pikachu's shoulder and looks at him like only a loving father could look at his son, whom he knows is insane:: ), this is really...er, something. Yes! Something, that's exactly it. Perhaps, the proper tools may make it easier to organize our family tree. Although...if we're that incestuous as a group, wouldn't our family tree look like a Celtic Knot? It's just an observation.

Now, I don't know which of these geneology programs work best, but try a couple out and see how they do.

Okay, kids...have fun! Oh, where's your mother? Is she with Ben *again?* Man, they seem to spend a lot time together. Anyways, I'm out of clean underwear and socks, so I need to find her.

Chatsy: I'M NOT YOUR TROPHY WIFE! >O

The Jolt Master: Trophy wife? Not a chance. I'm the one who lost the bet and got married.

But yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going, I'm going. ::grabs cleanser and opens the bathroom door, only to find all the water on the floor, the toilet in four pieces and smoke billowing into the hallway::

Grr....think of the kids...? I can only think of *how* I'm gonna whallop on the CHILDREN WHO USE M80's IN THE TOILET!! 

Chatsy: That'll teach you to say "No need to worry. The kids are reasonable, they know how to handle M80's. They're like their father after all" when you *know* that they're sadistic maniacs. >O

The Jolt Master: Yeah, okay, maybe that was a bad parenting decision. I mean, obviously it is, because some of seem to be messing with time machines and contraceptive devices and thus, getting love children that are older than they are.

As for the honeymoon...ah, yeah, sure. I, ah...yeah, meant every word of whatever..er, whatever was said. You bet....

::makes a mental note that the next time he loses a bet like that to not keep all the tequila to himself::

Hm? Oh, uh, love you.....mean it....

Chatsy: I told you that Pepsi is better, but nooooooo, you just had to have the tequila and you just wouldn't stoooooop. For god's sakes look at how our kids turned out because of that abuse!
They're all a bunch of time-manipulative insane kids with M80's and started a cult and religion and fandom of Pokémon.

It's all because of the tequila! >O 

Chatsy: =O?!?!?!?!

That's not what you said on our honeymoon! 

Pikachu: Wow...just wow...that disturbed me in more ways than one. XD
The Jolt Master: Well son...how else did you think you and your siblings came about, hm? And quit listening at the door when your mother and I are talking!

RapidAsh: Talking? Oh, we've heard a lot more than talking coming from that roon!

Chatsy: THAT'S HOW WE TALK! >O

Or make up ;D

Gyarados: Daddy, what are you doing to mummy? Huh? Scrabble, eh?

RapidAsh: Wow, I'm a child of chatsy and Jolt himself. I'm honored. XD

Though, since chatsy and I are both obsessed with Ash... eww, mother and daughter should not be fighting over the same man! XD

Chatsy: Oh, shush daughter!
The boy's hot, it doesn't matter we're family!

Besides, how do you think you've started obsessing him? Because you saw him on TV and then couldn't stop thinking about him? Pwah, it's because of ME, you foo! >O

Pff, silly daughter. Just because you're one year older than me you think you know everything.
RapidAsh: Mommy, where do babies come from?

Chatsy: You want pictures or a very visual description?

Pikachu: NO PICTURES!!!!! D:

Very vague discription would be helpful. There are those of us at adulthood. XDDDDDDDD

Chatsy: Fine.

When a man loves a woman, they have sex and there's a likelyhood that a child is made depending on the time of the month.

Then after hours of EVIL EVIL EVIL and nine months of destroying the woman's precious body, a kid is farted out, not from the butt, though.

The end.

Pikachu: You mean there's another place you can fart? XD

Kitten: Taileh's my grandpa now! XD!

Shorttail: No more grand parent. You're my niece now. So it's okay. You know what I mean? Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more?

Kitten: Yeah. Uncles are cooler than grandpas, anyways. :3 Except that the snaping and grinning and winking and nudging and saynomoreing made me suspicious. XD

Shorttail: But not as good as a wink to a blind bat, eh? Saynomore, saynomore?

Kitten: Except who would wink at a bat?
No, not THAT Bat, Taileh. XD
If someone can't see me... such as when I'm in my dad's minivan, which has tinted windows... I usually stick my tongue out at them, not wink at them. XD

*trembles in fear at the "saynomore"s* T_T

Shorttail: Say no more. No, seriously, does it make you feel powerful? I bet you're the type who'd put a snowball in someone's pocket and not say it was you. Inverted sardistic bastard.

Pikachu: But I don't see what's wrong with throwing snowballs. XD

Shorttail: That's because you throw them. Being the target is pain in the ass. I once walked two miles through a blizzard to avoid it.

Flareofdragon: ;p I don't think I am fit to be a father.
RapidAsh: *pats shoulder* Aww, don't worry about it. Most kids reject their parents at some point.
Besides, now we can be alone...

And you know what that means? *pulls out Scrabble game board* It means more time for me to whup ya!

Chiscringle: Seeing as one brother has asked, and the other two don't care, I suppose moving us to the lovechildren of Obby and WW3000 is a joint request to Pika. I'm gonna miss you, pop.

Flareofdragon: I am going to miss beating you son. Its a sad parting this day.

RapidAsh: Me too. How will I fullfill my sadistic tendencies now?
*looks at flare and grabs belt*

Flareofdragon: Dear, maybe thats why we don't have any kids.

Chatsy: I wonder where my daughter got her sadistic tendencies from, though

I mean, I was a good mother. Always kind (actually, I never gave much), always sweet (locking the kids up whenever us parents needed time alone), always sensitive (Crying because someone punched you? YOU WEAKLING!) and always spoke nicely (....Okay, you can figure this one out yourself).

Pikachu: I hope none of us actually act like this when we really have kids...

Misty101803: I pray our kids never see this forum becuase if they do there will be problems.

Chatsy: Why?
Because this is the closest to internetsex we'll get? XD

"Daaaad, why have you never told us about your wife/siblings/nephews/nieces/children/grandchildren/in-laws/parents?"

Pikachu: And Chatsy...my mom has already seen this topic. I showed it to her to get a reaction...she asked what drugs we were on.

Chatsy: But... I've already seen this topic. What're you talking about?

*snort*
XD

Misty101803: Taken from the main page:

That being said, if you have a fair amount of spare time and you've reviewed all the fanfics and fanart, why not come to The Pokemon Tower Forums (see link above). There, you can meet numerous members of The Tower and read about all sorts of pokemon-related topics and even non-pokemon topics too! Right now, the hottest topic of the Off-Topic section The Tower Forums family tree. No...don't ask. It's difficult for me to explain it unless you actually register and read the topic for yourself.

XD

Chatsy: ....WTF?

He... he never told me anything about this.

That man has HELL to pay when he gets home >O

*takes cookie roller, crosses arms and stands by the door*

Difficult my arse! He just lost a bet, had too much tequilas and it all went downhill from there! -:<

The Jolt Master: ::Comes home, he's got vodka this time and he's already had some. He manages to stumble into the door, then through it, like he's supposed to. He noisly then shushes the door, explaining to the door to keep it quiet. He turns around and is mighty surprised to see her with a rolling pin...for once.::

Wow...are you actually gonna bake something. Whoo! That'd be a first. Ah, er..<hic> you better make sure the fire extingisher is full before you start though, um, just in case.

::she continues to glare at him::


What??!!! There was no tequila this time, see??! ::holds up vodka with pride:: So there!

Fake Boy Scout: We're never gonna get new members now...

For those new members reading...we're not all like this. Some of us are very nice and clean and smell good. And that family tree isn't really true....yet. But if you happen to know a good family court laywer with some poor moral fiber, let's make something happen.

I'm adopting Moya, for the welfare check. I'm putting kitten into a ward of the state, you know like annie, people love Annie.
  

treecko(no): Dang, Ren's and Kev. got kinda busy.. ( ) Man, I wanted to be a husband..But, being a brother to Kitten and Fishy is kinda cool. (Fishy, Kitten, Geico..Am I seeing a trend going on here?)

Pikachu: Well...it could be that Kitten just likes reptiles. XD And fishies. XDDDD

CreatorOfDisastor: xDD ROTFL Amazing how we're all animals right?
Too bad I have to be the fish..

RapidAsh: And don't forget, me and flare could always adopt if need be.

Flareofdragon:

Yeah, you are right. After those last 3 investment turned into a bust, we need extra cheap manpower.

RapidAsh: Yeah, since you aren't pulling your weight. All you do all day is work, clean the house, mow the grass, run the errands, and wait on me hand and foot. Must I do everything? I mean, you have no idea how hard it is to sit on the couch all day, eating and watching TV.    

RapidAsh: "That's a big gun you have there."
"Yes my gun is very large, thank you for noticing." XD

Funny, I originally meant that the size of Tail's "gun" ( ) made him not at all like a sister. But it turned into a battle of actual weapons. Your minds are too clean! XD

Misty101803: Don't worry I it.

Chiscringle: Well, remember about this about weapons. It's not how big it is, it's who you aim it at.

Or to be more naughty, its not what you've got, its where ya stick it.

RapidAsh: Don't you point that thing at me, mister.   

Pikachu: Welcome back mother. XD

Chatsy: Thank you son, now I just need to hide all the booze from your dad and make sure he doesn't make more bets about marrying wives, balancing on the edge of Mt. Everest and see how many liqour filled dougnuts you can eat in fifteen minutes.

That man. He better not be going into my secret cabinet of illegally mixed beverages. >O

Pikachu: Booze is bad for you anyway so you two are going to be going sober now.

*Smashes all booze and makes a fire*

Yes...the rum is gone... XDDDDDDD

The Jolt Master: THE RUM IS GONE??!

::He comes downstairs, dressed like a pirate...it's for some other bet he didn't tell his wife about. He glares incredulously at Pikachu, then the fire, then Pikachu again::

WHY??? WHY IS THE RUM GONE???!

Chatsy: Wait... There was rum in the first place?!

*stares at e-husband in his pirate costume*

.... So many horrible puns about walking the plank, jolting it off and using the kanon won't leave my mind! DX

Lonepichu: XD I thought that buns in the oven meant that you had a big butt until my mom told me it meant that you were pregnant....wow....did not know that XD

Misty101803: The new member koukla doll is actually the youngest at 11. He/she was born almost exactly a year before Kitten, who is 12. She's almost an angsty teen.  

koukla_doll: He/she? DOLL? She, hem-hem. Sorry if that was spammy.
But seriously. Koukla is Greek for doll. Doll-doll? A boy? I think not. 

Shorttail: Kou, seriously and before we take away your childhood innocence, watch what you say about what is logical and what is not. Don't get me started. 

Misty101803: I would have to concur with my fellow Tail. We in Cult: TPTF do not discriminate by gender. Hell, you're probably thinking right now I'm a girl huh?  

Flying Torchics: I'm the son of Chatsy and Ben!!! I don't know if that's good or bad though.

Chatsy: It was one cooooold Spring, I'll tell you that ;D

Ben and I needed to keep warm while Jolt was out doing.. stuff.
Probably playing strippoker. Oh, that man.

Shorttail: You'll always be my loli, Kitty.   

Kitten: I don't know what a loli is. XD;;

Well, if that's a good thing, then... teh yayness of it all! ^__^ *huggles*

Shorttail: It includes lol so it must be good, right?

Yeah, a good thing. Heh. Or something.
*whistles* 

Gyarados: What makes you say that Misty3.14159265358979323846264338327950 is British?

Shorttail: Mmm... chocolate. And ice cream. In combination. Must... lick... furiously...

Gyarados: Ah well, I bought myself a lot of chocolate... I ate it in the company of the one person I truly love... Myself

*ego swells*
*ego explodes*

Misty_Waterflower_12: Eww la la Pika got a girlfriend!

Pikachu: You're kinda right except she likes me more than I like her. Used to be the other way around. XD Weird how things flip sometimes. XD

And it's not eww la la. It's oooh la la. XD

Gyarados: It could be 'eww la la'.... it just all depends...   

Gyarados: Most sorry the Gyarados is... no offence was intended. *kisses butt most obsequiously*

Kitten: o_0 I was going to wish everybody a Happy Valentine's Day, but I think its too late. 0_o
Pikachu: *Smacks Gyarados*

We don't want no butt kissers here. XD You're suppose to kiss people on their face you fool. XD
Gyarados: Ah, so that's what I've been doing wrong all this time!

Kitten: The only reason I'm sad Valentine's Day is over is because this topic will soon be gone now that the holiday it's based on is over. =\

Shorttail: Don't be sad, Kitty. We'll infect other topics eventually.

Flying Torchics: Whoa, Shorttail and Xkitten(yadda yadda) have formed a plan of total forum domination?

Containiac: probably total forum pervertion at my guess....

Shorttail: Also my right hand still doesn't work after being injured four months ago and my butt hurts for unknown reasons (don't ask).
I just feel so easy.

Chatsy: So your hand and butt hurts?

Gyarados: Welcome, RA. Can I call you that? Saves... finger energy...

Aherm. Don't let all the weird people (*cough*Kitty*cough*Tail) scare you.

It's ok, some of us are normal.

Warning, normal people may not be normal.
People may not actually exist.

Lonepichu: *is munching contently on Celebi's intestines*

Now I can say I'm doing it as a symbol of love XD

...why did I start eating her intestines in the first place, anyway?

Oh well, who cares? *continues her happy munching*

Shorttail: But of course you can. Most definitely a sign of love the munching is. 

Celebi: ...Thanks, Yoda.  

Chatsy: I wanna be paired up with myself.

BenJS: How could you! I thought we were soulmates! SOULMATES GOSH DARNIT!!!!!

*cries*

Anyway, if you pair up with me I'll let you rub meh belly.

It's big.

And hairy.

And if you rub it it'll bring good luck.

And...what was I talkin' 'bout again?  

Pikachu:

Lonepichu: Wow Bobby, the plug is on your side...

Bobby, is that a plug on your side, or are you just happy to see me? XD

Chatsy: I guess you shouldn't pull the plug then, or....

XD

RCF: Its like the commercial.

"Plug it in Plug it in!" XD

Pikachu: This is a very messed up topic. XD What turned into a pair up thread has turned into three and foursome pairs. XD!!!!!!

Chatsy: Can't we all just pair up and have an ever so lovely group orgy? 8D

kevin g.: Kev then rose to the surface and wasted a good 5 months trying to find wherever the hell this 'unkown' place is. Along the way some oversized alphabet soup letters started stalking him. He had no idea why, stupid noodles.  

Shorttail: